Too Close for Comfort

Countless experts offer us advice on how to create the "perfect relationship," fostering the unrealistic expectation that forming an intimate bond will be a painless experience. Unfortunately, few experts are willing to confront the powerful challenges and emotions inherent within close relationships today. In contrast to other intimacy books, Too Close for Comfort vividly describes the surprising dangers, damage to self-esteem, inadequacies, and immaturities that characterize the contemporary state of romantic intimacy. Too Close for Comfort compassionately explores the risks and misunderstandings that occur within many intimate relationships. Romantic partners tend to hurt each other not only by insensitivity and neglect, but also by criticism, abuse, and betrayal - most of which spring from insecurity. Dr. Piorkowski, a noted consulting psychologist and educator, focuses on the vulnerability both partners experience in intimacy due to the emergence of strong, unrealistic needs that are almost impossible to satisfy. The author contends that people avoid the perils of intimacy by donning one or more defensive "masks" - ranging from acting superior to mysterious, comical to withdrawn, self-sufficient to dependent - in an effort to protect themselves from emotional exposure. Presenting a fascinating range of clinical examples, she sensitively depicts the fears of intimacy that limit contact, namely psychological concerns about loss of control or autonomy, feelings of disappointment and abandonment, or of being attacked and made to feel guilty. Depicting women's reliance on verbal expression to achieve an emotional connection versus men's dependence on physical contact, Dr. Piorkowski brilliantly elucidates the complex barriers to intimacy, especially the chasms of misunderstanding created by vast sexual differences and attitudes. While this book is unique in its exposition of the dangers in intimacy, its message is not pessimistic. http://www.dropshippers.co.za/

• Title: Too Close for Comfort
• Subtitle: Exploring the Risks of Intimacy
• New edition
• Imprint name: Perseus Books
• Table of contents: * Introduction * Old Issues Resurface * Time to Tune Out * In Hot Pursuit of the Perfect Relationship * How Close Is Too Close? * Violence Rears Its Ugly Head * What's It All About, Alfie? * The Nature of Intimacy * Developmental Stages and Intimacy * Ambivalence: A Two-Headed Dilemma * Distance and Closeness Boundaries * Relationship Styles * Fears and Risks * Fear of Exposure * Fear of Loss of Control * Fear of Losing Autonomy * Additional Perils * Fear of Attack * Fear of Disappointment and Betrayal * Fear of Guilt * Fear of Rejection and Abandonment * Reaching for the Stars * Insecurities about Love * Wish for Unconditional Love * Need for Nurturance * Wish for Protection * Desire to Be Special * The Masks We Wear * Hobbies, Addictions, and Other Games * Tuning Out * The "I'm Better Than You Are" Stance * The Mystery Man Approach * The Court Jester * Don Juan and Jezebel * The "I Don't Need Anybody" Attitude * Sex Differences and Attraction * Different Intimacy Styles * Is There Love at First Sight? * The Primary Ingredients of Passion * Other Fueling Factors * The Intensity of First Love * Intimacy and Alcohol Abuse * Needs Served by Alcohol * Alcohol Use and Avoidance * Alcohol Use as Marital Glue * Alcoholism and the Family * Intimacy and Violence * Power and Control * The Partner as a Thing * Competition * Dependency and Isolation * Violence on the Fringes * Garden-Variety Violence: Verbal Sniping * Minimizing the Risks * Identifying Vulnerabilities * Giving Up the Impossible Dream * Self-Exposure in Graduated Doses * Maintaining a Degree of Control and Autonomy * Shedding Unnecessary Guilt * Identifying the Pitfalls * Run-of-the-Mill Transgressions * Emotional Hermits * Passive-Aggressive Types * Blamers * Narcissists * Peter Pan and Cinderella * Improving a Troubled Relationship * Relationship versus Individual Needs * Reducing Demands * Need for Space * Conflict-Free Zones * Heavy Doses of Pleasure and Other Positive Reinforcements * Communication Skills * Conflict Resolution Skills * When All Other Strategies Fail * Happy and Healthy Relationships: Common Ingredients * A Shared Vision * Similar Souls or Opposite Types? * Separate Selves * Emotional Responsiveness * Equity and Social Exchange * Trust - The Bottom Line * Other Factors * In Conclusion * Notes * Index
http://www.dropshippers.co.za/